When will I get published?

So someone asks me "What do you do?" And I say "I'm a writer." 
The next question is always, "Have you gotten anything published?" And I fumble around with answers like, "No, not yet…but my agent is shopping my books around--maybe soon…"
And then, "Let me know when you do…" And I say, "Yeah, sure thing…" 

And then I wonder about self-publishing. And if you're an aspiring writer, I'll bet you've wondered about the same thing. Makes sense. 

The reality is that it does make sense in some ways--and in others, not so. It makes sense because you can see your work in print form (or digital) quickly--no need for an agent, no need to query publishers (most of whom won't take your work without an agent anyway). So…

The problems:
      1. Who's going to be your critic? My mother would think anything I write is good. So would my wife (although she's a pretty good critic). So would my friends. 
      2. The expense. The cost of self-publishing is significant (both financially and time spent in getting it done). Better have some bucks. 
      3. Finally, marketing: You get to do all of that yourself. Fun times.  

And so the question: When will I get published? is a good one. And with the incredibly changing world of publishing today, one that's not easily answered. But for me--I'm still old-school. 

I would have sent my first book to my mother if I could have (she passed on to the next life some years ago) and I know she would have loved it. But instead I sent it to my agent and he said I don't love your ending and you need a lot more words! So I did it--wrote twenty thousand more words and  changed the ending. I wouldn't have gotten that advice from anyone else that I know--except perhaps from someone who hates me. But I know my agent doesn't hate me, therefore…

But you get the idea. So I stick with the traditional way. And hope...